hugs

I feel like I could've written on my blog all weekend because I have so much on my mind. Number one, I'm going to embrace my alone time and not have pity on myself.

This afternoon I watched the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants . . . one of my favorite movies. I relate so much to the character of Carmen in the movie. Her parents divorced when she was young. As a teenager she goes to spend the summer with her dad to find out he has a new family that she does not fit into at all. Needless to say she does not react to the situation very well due to selfish and hurt feelings . . . many of which I have felt much of my life. She finally decides to attend her dad's wedding with the support of her 3 best friends. When he realizes her attendance they share a wonderful embrace where she is sobbing into his chest and forgiving each other for so much in that one moment.

I am such a hugging person and that one moment makes me cry every time I see it. I do not have very many people I have or can share that kind of embrace with, but am finding that's something I'm truly longing for in my life right now. I moved to Grand Rapids to be near my dear friends that I love so dearly and to pursue my coaching passions. The only downside was leaving my family behind in Indiana. All my friends have their family nearby so when they get to spend time with them I, unfortunately, am alone. It's the people I left that I can have those sorts of embraces with and even though they drive me nuts most of the time I am missing them dearly. One particular member of my "family," my high school coach who is more like a father to me than anything. He is that one person whose hugs make me feel so safe and so loved. That's something I'm desperately longing to feel right now. I knew I was giving some things up when I moved here and I'm hoping all that I gained can keep me filled up. The nice thing is that times at home are that much sweeter. Hopefully one of these days I can have someone there and here that I can share that kind of embrace with.

On a side note . . . sometimes I wish I was a better blog writer. I don't always know how to end things and it seems more like rambling, but just needed to get some of these thoughts out of my head . . . as I mentioned there's not really anyone to tell them to.