randoms

Even though my butt hurts from sitting in this chair for over an hour and I need a shower desperately . . . I needed to get out my blogging itch. Here are the randoms in my brain.

- Am seriously annoyed at a coach of ours who is expressing his frustration with me/us on facebook! Really?! Are we not adults and can we not discuss things in person? I'm so mad at him and I'm not sure if I even want to talk with him right now because I might hit him.

- My roommate left her pager on so I've listen to it vibrate constantly for the last 1.5 hours. Not a biggee, but a little annoying. (fyi - roommate just came home after writing this . . . lol) P.S. no more parties as we now having seating for one. Our 3rd, non-existent roommate came and got her furniture this week. So sad to have an empty house and only 1 month left here. I am definitely avoiding packing, but at least have a place to go temporarily.

- I was reminded of how awesome my friends are this weekend . . . not only because they kept telling me, but because two of them ran a marathon! They were amazing! I was so moved when they crossed the finish line. What an accomplishment for them, I'm so glad I got to witness it. We spent an amazing weekend of camping and shared countless laughs . . . I'm just so lucky and can't wait for the rest of the summer.

- I began a 21-day cleanse for my mind, body, and spirit yesterday. There is a lot I'm trying to cleanse myself of and I'm going a little slow. First is no TV and no radio in the car. So far so good, except for 20 minutes today while I ate my lunch. The food is a little more complicated b/c I haven't had time to shop, but am focusing on no sugar, junk, caffeine, or fast food for right now and am doing well. Just excited to refresh and refocus.

My head feels a little clearer . . . time to shower up!

what's wrong with me?

Do you ever take time and evaluate yourself and realize that you have really changed or are different than you thought you were? I have realized that I am still an extremely emotional person, but when something upsets me and I want to cry about it the tears just don't come. Today I broke down about a situation and I cried for a minute and then was done. What has happened to me? Have I just resigned myself to life and don't care anymore? That actually kind of scares me. When I don't care and just go through the motions life kind of sucks. That's a lesson I try to teach my players. That's a dangerous place to be . . . things may be easy, but there is no great reward when you don't commit yourself 100%. A good part may be that my faith in God's plan for my life has increased and I know that I can't control certain situations. Yes, I do feel like I have a strong faith, but I also feel like God calls us to take some responsibility in life. That's part of the freedom we have from God's grace. I don't know exactly what I'm feeling right now, just needed to vent a little so I can sleep tonight and have an improved attitude for this week because it's going to be a tough week. Until next time . . .

satan's evil plan

It has been an unusually easy week for me, which I am always grateful for. Doesn't always mean that I'm raking in the big bucks, but is helpful for my sanity. I have also been able to get a lot of work on farout and mivca done. The trouble this week has been how Satan has been beating down my friends. It seems like everywhere I turn I hear of him messing with their self-confidence and self-image, causing them to doubt their abilities and beauty. Or he continues to put road blocks in their way of financial peace or love and happiness. It just makes my heart break when I hear of what he is doing. I feel like I am constantly praying for God to bring peace to their hearts and to see them through their trial and tribulations. In my constant effort to become better at praying . . . I WILL NOT give up on praying for my friends. They are such special people and deserve all of God's blessings. I am reminded that God is strong when we are weak . . . may we always give God the glory even when we are at our lowest point.

d-day

Yesterday was the big race. On Friday I tried not to worry about it too much. It was hard when the other girls came over that afternoon because they were all genuinely excited for the race. I was not . . . I was just scared that I would be in constant pain and not able to finish. We did have a very enjoyable pre-race dinner, though. I made whole wheat pasta with chicken, spinach, sun-dried tomatoes, and parmesan cheese. Ours tummies were full and we headed off to bed. We all started waking up very early in the morning to roars of thunder and heavy down pours outside. By the time we got up at 6:30 a.m. the rain had subsided. When we headed downtown it was chilly, but we were not bothered. We shedded our outer layers at the gear check and ventured to the start line. About 5 minutes before the gun it started sprinkling and turned into a very steady rain by the time we crossed the start line. Karen & I stuck together the whole race and we tried not to think about how wet we were. The first 4 miles were very hilly, but we both felt great even through the half-way point. It was hard not to be distracted by the runners in front of us whom we had to watch because the new course shared the same road for about 3 miles. We definitely slowed down on the second half and I started to get tired by mile 13. I wanted to finish so badly . . . I refused to listen to the thoughts in my head that told me to walk. The only time we walked was when we drank gatorade/water at the aid stations. With about 2 miles to go I saw my client who said she was coming to cheer so I got a little boost of energy then. The crowds continued to grow as we got downtown. Then we saw Laura & Megan at the last corner before the finish line . . . Karen got a huge surge of energy and took off for the finish. I didn't have that much gas, but still made it. I wanted to cry when I crossed that line . . . I was so proud of ALL of us!

Amazingly, I felt great throughout the entire race. I never got a side cramp, my knee hurt a few times on the downhill sections and my hip flexor got tight, but otherwise it was pretty good considering the weather. God definitely protected me and the 1200 mg of ibprofen didn't hurt either. ;) It was surreal to stop at the end because after running that far, walking feels very strange. We came back to the house and stuffed our faces with Papa John's, showered, and warmed up (being wet out in the cold is no fun). After visiting with friends we took naps and headed to Laura's. It wasn't until that night that soreness started to set in. Nevertheless we partied hard in celebration of our MAJOR accomplisment. Needless to say we slept very well last night, but the legs felt like 10 bricks this morning.

The theme for the run was . . . What do you run for? I still don't have a good answer for that question. This race was something I had always wanted to do, I guess just to say that I did it. You could say that I did it for self-respect or pride. Either way I AM glad I did it and even HAPPIER that I finished. It was never about that time for me, I just wanted to complete it. I don't plan on every doing it again. I'm just anxious to get back to enjoying shorter runs again. This was definitely outside of my comfort zone, but God taught me that while the journey can be rough the finish is so sweet. God was with me through this whole thing and I know He's with me on my journey of life too. I hope you're inspired to do something out of your comfort zone and that God gives you the strength to accomplish your goal.

today's thoughts

I have a couple things on my mind today . . . mainly to keep my mind off Saturday. I swam for a little bit today and then sat in the whirlpool. I prefer to be in there alone, but I listened to the conversation of two older women also in the whirlpool. They began to to talk about one of their daughter's who is 32 and not married. The other women asked if something was wrong with her. Are you kidding me? Why do people assume something is wrong with them? Maybe something is wrong with all the people they have met. Ahhh . . . I just got so mad listening to them. It's people like that who make people like me question is something is wrong with us. I refuse to fall into that trap, though. It WILL happen . . . I'm trusting in God for that one.

As I was driving to practice I saw a guy behind me getting out a cigarette to smoke. It only took an instant for me to start hating that man and I don't even know him. Smoking is a habit I despise. I nagged my mom for years before she quit. I also have my first client who smokes and it just makes me so mad. Today was the first day, though, that it hit me . . . how is that habit different from me having to eat something sweet everyday. It's the same kind of addiction and much like smokers I can't nix the habit. I still don't like the smoking, but may think twice about eating dessert next time.

it is finally here

I honestly don't know if I have been ready for this week to get here or truly dreading it. It is the week of the Fifth Third River Bank Run. For those who don't live in GR that is one of the largest 25K races in the U.S. Yes, I signed up to run 15.5 miles this coming Saturday. For some reason I have some crazy things on my bucket list and this is one of them. I am not a runner and do not know why I continue to pretend to be. At one point I had gotten to the point where I actually enjoyed a 3 or 4 mile run. I even enjoyed the 8 mile run I did during my training. At some point the wheels just came off, though . . . let me clarify . . . my right knee decided to revolt against the rest of my body. For the last three weeks I have only run once a week and this pain will not go away. It's there when I get up in the morning, when I try to go up the 3 flights of stairs at work, when I bend down to pick up things at work, when I try to demonstrate a lunge for my clients, and especially when I run. I thought it would go away, but now I'm worried. I think my worrying about it might even be causing my headaches. I want to get through this run without damaging my knee further and so I can say I did it. I know it would suck even if I was 100% healthy, but it could really turn into something really miserable.

Throughout the whole training I have felt God trying to teach me about the race of life. It is so not a sprint like I try to make it. And sometimes there are stumbling blocks along the way. But it's not our strength that can overcome them or give us the discipline to last . . . God's strength is the only thing strong enough. I am turning to him to heal my knee and help me perservere on Saturday. In Christ alone . . .

tradition of excellence

I had the pleasure of attending a celebration on Friday & Saturday for Taylor volleyball's 1,000th program win making them the winningest volleyball program in NAIA history. I never expected to be a part of the Taylor volleyball program. I grew up about 45 minutes from the campus, but wanted no part in attending a university in Indiana. When I was a player at Cornerstone I had tremendous respect for the Taylor volleyball program. I always knew they had a rich tradition and always loved playing them. I remember two distinct wins over them - one at our home tournament when Lindsey Taatjes was a freshman. The second was at the Best of the Best tournament that same year.

In July of 2005 I was working a summer volleyball camp at Notre Dame when I got an email from my friend Elissa. She notified me of a position at Taylor that she had been offerred, but was declining because of another job opportunity. The position was for assistant volleyball coach and academic support director. I was intending to start my second year of teaching the next year, but couldn't help thinking about this opportunity. I spoke with Brittany Smith the new coach at Taylor, whom I had coached against the previous club volleyball season and she seemed interested in having me join her staff. I decided to go down to Upland for the interview, was offerred the job within the week and turned in my resignation at my school two weeks before the school year was supposed to begin.

I didn't really know what I was getting myself into when I moved to Upland. It certainly was not easy, but I soon found out that God had a great purpose for me at Taylor. My three years there were all different and I grew immensely as a person and a coach. I developed a very special relationship with Brittany and Coach Fincannon and many of the players. Although I'm glad to be back in GR, I do not regret the decision I made to move to Upland.

One of the biggest reasons why I have no regrets is because I had the opportunity to become a part of the Taylor volleyball family. I already thought I was so lucky to have my own volleyball family from Cornerstone, but to have that experience times two is very special. On Friday night, former Taylor coach Angie Fincannon gave a wonderful speech describing all the elements that make TUVB so special. I couldn't help tearing up because I feel so blessed to have those same relationships with my teammates and former coach. All the alumni and former coaches who were there take so much pride in their program and expect nothing less that full effort and excellence to glorify God each and every year.

It was for this reason that I did get a little sad during the evening because I feel my former program is lacking in this tradition. We don't have the storied tradition that Taylor does, but we could if the right people were heading our athletic department and volleyball program. That's the biggest reason why I've prayed for that opportunity the last few years.

I had quite a unique perspective as a former opponent of many of the TUVB alumni, but still feel very honored to share in their tradition of excellence.