my cup overfloweth

Summer brings dichotomous emotions for me. On one hand it is hard for me to fly by the seat of my pants and be out of a routine. I like order - that is no secret. However, summer has just also made my heart so full. I love how care free we all can be and just make so many fun memories together. Although it is still hard for me to be away from home so I can't make every family event, every day I am reminded that my new home is the place I need to be. Today was just another example of that. It was the 4th Annual Emily Duits Beach Volleyball Memorial Tournament. I had not been able to attend since the first one and this year I actually got to have a team in the tournament. The weather was crazy, the volleyball was okay, but the fellowship was amazing. Most of the girls from my team when Em played were there and it is just so awesome to see the girls and their parents remain so close. It just overwhelms my heart to know that our club and the sport of volleyball, along with Em's great life, could bring people together like that. God amazes me with his ability to connect people. I also got to visit with Em's grandma a little bit. She has such an amazing spirit and I love her outlook on life. I also love seeing Em's sister Sarah being a mom to her son Rydik, who is so adorable. I couldn't imagine losing a sister/best friend, but she has handled it and being a young mom beautifully. I got to visit with Em's mom Selena down in Louisville. I love that she can talk to me about Em and vice versa. Today was really all about celebration, which is what Em would've wanted. I pray that God continued to heal the hearts of those who loved Em the most and that Em's spirit is never forgotten. Thank you Lord for blessing our lives with her presence. Thank you for my wonderful friends who gave up their Sunday to play in the tournament. It was so fun to be a part of the day in that way and I'm grateful for their presence in my life. Please protect them because I don't know if I could bare losing them. Your ways are not always clear, but I cling to the truth that God is good all the time and all the time God is good.

we did it!

Thursday finally arrived and Karen & I signed the final closing papers and got into our house. It seemed like a long time coming, but God had it all under control. I firmly believe that it was no coincidence that our chapter for small group was on the God of Peace this week. Every day I was reminding yet again that worrying does nothing for us, we must continue to trust in the Lord. His way are often mysterious, but He is there and He is working. He was so faithful to us through this whole process and I do have such awesome peace about our investment and LOVE our house!

I knew it was going to be a lot of work and it is! But it's been fun to see the transformations already. It's going to be totally worth it. My prayer is that God allows me to relinquish control of things and reassure me that I cannot do everything by myself. My close friends know this is a constant struggle for me, but I believe God can help me share. :)

what else?!

I guess I thought that since I really committed this house buying process to God that He would do everything on our time schedule. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. Our closing date has been changed once again . . . ugh! Instead of going through the annoying circumstances that have brought us to this point, I'll mention the positive things that have happened . . .

First of all, I was able to have a relaxing weekend with my wonderful friends at Karen's wonderful cottage. Good times were had by all!

Second, my dad is coming to help me move. What a blessing! He's a great packer and I'm excited for him to see where I live.

Third, we have found some great furniture at some great deals!

Fourth, my boss is letting me work on Wednesday (now that I don't have a house to get into yet), which is a huge blessing.

Fifth, my wonderful friend Dez is letting me stay at her house until we can get into our house.

Sixth, the insurance lady that has helped us has been great. She is even starting our policy early so my stuff will be covered.

I'm sure there have been other things, but I'm really trying to look on the bright side. I am such a planner so all the setbacks have been really hard for me, but I'm sure God has a purpose through all of it. Before I finish my packing I'm watching the Cosby show (which always makes me laugh) and cranking the tunes. A Terri Clark song is really fitting today . . .

"You want an answer as soon as you say a prayer

You want to land the moment you're in the air

Baby the living is all in the getting there."

in his hands

If you have never bought a house you are missing out on a lot of life lessons. I have had the fortune to have already gone through this process once. The first time was not well thought out and turned into a disaster. The second time around has been incredible. I was determined to commit the adventure to the Lord in prayer and He continues to prove to me that He has the whole thing in His hands. Just when we thought we weren't going to find the right one, he brought along a great house for a great deal. It has so much potential. He has allowed all the steps along the way to go smoothly. We are still waiting for the clearance to close, which has been a huge test of faith (just got an email they need more info), but our mortgage officer has assurred us that we are all set to close on Monday. This again works out great b/c our landlord let us stay until the 15th so we have 2 days of overlap to move out and clean up. Setting up all the utilities has also worked out nicely and in a timely fashion. It even worked out for my dad to come up and help me move, which should be fun. I have found a ton of great furniture at great prices and just can't wait to get in the house and get going. I'm so excited to live with Karen and have someone to hang out with and talk to and be silly with. We can't wait to show everyone the finished product.

God, you are so good to me. Everytime I would doubt that things were going to work out, you pulled through and showed once again why you are God and I am not. While other things in my life are going crazy and making me sad, you have given me this to be passionate about and I am so grateful. Seriously, my life is awesome and it's all because of you!

reflections

Packing is one of the most depressing things ever! I have been putting it off for weeks and finally kickstarted the process tonight. Yes, it's a holiday weekend and I should be out having fun, but I really don't like the 4th of July. I always feel alone on this holiday and am so tired of joining other people's family celebrations when I feel like an outsider. Packing made the perfect excuse. So I went to CVS and got some packing tape, cranked up the tunes, and went to work.

Not only do my walls look bare, but as I load up the boxes I can't help but stop and go through the memories. I went through my coaching scrapbook and was overwhelmed with the many lives that have touched mine through this passion of mine. I couldn't help but stop at the pages depicting our trip to Nationals in Salt Lake City 4 years ago. There were pictures of us at the Park City 4th of July parade that made me remember the old ladies who played the kazoos. What fun memories, including crowding one of the condos to watch the Wimbledon finals. That trip will never be duplicated and it was our last time with Emily. I got to spend a short visit with Em's mom in Louisville last week. I love that she lets me talk about Em and she actually appreciates that instead of people tip-toeing around the subject. Everytime I'm at a big tournament I can't help but think of Em. That was her element and she loved that environment more than anyone. It's still hard to balance the joy I have that she gets to be in Heaven and the anger I have that someone who loved volleyball so much isn't with us to enjoy it on Earth anymore. Makes me mad with young girls take the opportunity for granted.

I am very excited for the change coming in my life, but it is still kind of scary and emotional. We have a lot of memory making ahead of us, that's for sure. I'm glad that God has helped me adapt to change much better, but it is still hard. There are a lot of big changes coming in my life and today really made me think about those changes. When the song Walk Down This Mountain by Bebo Norman came on, I just stopped and broke down because the words were hitting me so powerfully. Completing something is such a great experience, but it means that you're beginning a new journey around the corner and beginning is always a scary process.

It's a better place
Standing high upon this mountain
I've seen your face
Full of the light that holiest height can show
Blessed hand is why you you've given
But you've been given all you'll ever need To know

Chorus: So walk down this mountain
With your heart held high
Follow in the footsteps of your maker
With this love that's gone before you
And these people at your side
If you offer up your broken cup
You will taste the meaning of this life
Hey hey

Well it's a common ground
And I see you're all still standing
But just look around and you'll find
The very face of God
He's walking down into the distance
He's walking down to where the masses are

Chorus
This life

We're standing in a place of peace
And this is how the world should be
How the world should be (Walk down this mountain with your heart held high)
How the world should be (Walk down this mountain with you heart held high)
How the world should be (Walk down this mountain with your heart held high)
How the world should be

pure exhaustion

I have totally fallen off the blogging bandwagon. The last few weeks have been absolutely crazy and I never thought I'd be more excited for July 1 to get here. I just got back from our last club volleyball tournament last night at 10 a.m. We had a great time in Louisville. All of my closest friends coach with the club and so on the long trips we end up having more fun than anyone (probably more fun than anyone should, but those details are not appropriate for my blog). My team took me on one heck of a rollercoaster. We ended up in the copper division after having a real shot at gold or silver. And what a suprise we ended up winning the division and were there until 3:30 p.m. I'm so glad we were able to finish our season on a win. Not many teams can say that and I couldn't have asked for a better way to end this great season. I felt like a proud mama just watching them do things we have been working on all season. It was terrific. I did lose my voice and got a total of 23 hours of sleep over 4 nights . . . not near enough for me. Everyone kept saying . . . I guess you can do that when you're young. I sure don't feel young! I took a 2 hour nap this afternoon and still feel like crap. Hopefully all I need is one more night's sleep.

Probably the best part of the last few weeks have been the amazing talks with my friends. It is so reassuring to know that other people are struggling with the same things that I am and it is OK. Karen & I are so excited to move in together and have karaoke parties in our underwear and stay up all night talking and just enjoying life. The big day is coming! I haven't packed anything, but I'm sure it will get done . . . it always does. Not many philosophical thoughts right now because I'm too tired, but just needed to write to get back on track.