telling the truth

God finally got me last night . . . I guess one can only run so far. As I have said I've been struggling with a lot of things for the last few weeks/months and have bottled a lot of things inside. Partly because it's just easier that way and partly because I get sick of spilling my guts when a lot of my friends never spill their guts and I feel like it's my own pity party all the time. Anywho, one of my friends finally made me spill it last night and after a half an hour of crying, talking (some yelling), and hugging it did feel good to get some things off my chest. And as I predicted I awoke to puffy eyes. I feel like those random surveys that go around should have a special question for me . . . When was the last day you didn't cry.

So today I made myself sit down and do my Esther bible study. Low and behold it was about telling the truth. It talked about how the truth might be hard to tell, but it really is harder to hold it in then actually talk about it. For the last year I have never been confronted with more truths from bible studies and sermons that fit the current state I am in . . . as much as I do feel sorry for myself, I am grateful that God cares enough about me to work so hard on my heart.

Over the weekend I watched one of my favorite movies: Facing the Giants. Such a great message (I think I've blogged about it before) and makes me cry (of course!). I downloaded one of the songs from the movie and its words have impacted me so much. I'll share them with you today:

Time after time you've been left behind
Like the sun when it's starting to rain
Time after time you've been forgotten
Like a picture that's faded with age
Time after time you ran after me
When I was still running away

You never give up on me
No, you never give up on me
Though I'm weak you are strong
You told me I still belong
No, you never, never give up on me

Time after time I've used your grace
As a way to do what I please
I've taken for granted prayers that you answered
Never been all I could be
You are holding out your hands
And now I clearly see

Chorus

You always erase all my mistakes
You lift me up when I'm down
Through all the ages, your love never changes
You welcome me just as I am

Chorus

~You Never Give Up on Me by Josh Bates