such a time as this

The key verse in the book of Esther is when Mordecai asks her, don't you know that you've been called to this place for "such a time as this?" I cannot help, but believe that I have also been called for such a time as this. I moved back to Grand Rapids with some amount of uncertainty in regards to my future, but still had tremendous faith that God had something great in store for me. I'm at such a crossroads right now and am even more confident in my beliefs, but cannot get some doubts out of my head. Has God brought me thus far just to teach me another lesson on faith and perseverance? If so, I'm not sure I can handle it . . . on my own at least I can't. Am I worthy of this position that God has placed before me? I know I am, but if the others don't see it, how will that affect my confidence and my future opportunities. I don't know what else is out there.

Friday morning our verse of the day in the bathroom was "Faith is hoping in the unknown and being certain of what we cannot see." As I sit and wait I am clinging to this verse and the verse that corresponds with one of our scenarios from the Esther study. The scenario is "It's tough being a woman who can balance passion with patience." In these situations we can cling to this verse Isaiah 30:18: "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" I refuse to wait for a specific outcome or be defined by the decision. I am delighting in the fact that God has my best interest at heart and just waiting with every ounce of patience I can muster to wait on my Lord.