seriously?

So this being my birthday week and all, I was planning on a fabulous week. The to do list was getting smaller and I was feeling good about my job and life was good . . . then it seemed like the wheels fell off. I am usually the optimistic person in life. I'm the one always telling people that it's going to be okay and that God is in control and blah, blah, blah. For some reason over the last 24 hours I cannot get those thoughts to seek in for me. The Y is cutting back significant hours and I have no idea how I will be affected. Not the best time because the class I was teaching is wrapping up and I'm going on vacation at the end of next week. Also, I have a player quitting my team and just refuses to communicate with me. I honestly am over it, but feel like the girls are getting hurt by her decision. Then today at work when emotions were running high, I said something that made someone mad. I apologized, but could tell they were still mad about it. I hate when that happens because I know I was in the wrong, but can't get past it. All these things are usually things that I can handle without problem, but I guess I just reached a breaking point pretending that my life is fine. It is fine, but maybe not as stable as I woud like. I KNOW things will work out and be okay and that God is just preparing me for things ahead, but it's just not sinking in!

I have been going to God with my frustrations and trying to give it up to him. He has answered my prayers in interesting ways today. I actually did my devotions before work this morning (at 4:45 a.m.) and it included Isaiah 40:28-31, which always renews my spirit. Then when I checked my email, I got a facebook message that someone I haven't talked to since college prayed for me last night. Then I got messages from two great friends supporting me today. Then as I left work, a co-worker encouraged me and reminding me that I will be fine. It was almost too much encouragement to handle, but definitely God speaking to me. It would be so easy for me to avoid everyone who cares about me and wallow in self-pity, but I'm not going to. I will enjoy my birthday and not tell myself that I am old even though I feel that way.

"Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint." - Isaiah 40:28-31