MIA

For the few of you who actually read my blog you may have wondered if I'm still alive and kicking . . . well, indeed I am. For much of the summer I have intentionally avoided this thing questioning why I really have it and wondering if it's good for me. To be honest about 90% of the time if the my only form of sharing what I'm actually feeling. I kind of got sick of having to spill my guts on the computer to my virtual friends instead of people really being interested in my life or having people share their life with me in person. So I said enough is enough . . . I'm boycotting. I know I can be a bit childish at times and this is a prime example. I don't have a ton to say . . . I don't process life too much these days. It's actually kind of depressing as I've tried to really lower my expectations in life to avoid a lot of hurt I've had the last several months. I'm transitioning into a very bittersweet time. I'm starting my first regular season with my DU team and I am so excited. They are already teaching me a lot and I see a great purpose for me being there. However, I know that they are really some of the only human interaction I am going to have for the next several months. It won't be much different than my life now, but I'm just unsure how much longer I can live this way. I won't go into a pitty party for my lonliness right now, but I can just see those times ahead. It would be so great to have someone to share the great stories I forsee, but currently there really isn't anyone I feel great about sharing things with. Hopefully things can turn around in my mind and my heart . . . only God can move mountains and I feel like there's one sitting right on my chest.